My deepest condolences to Amanda Jo Earhart-Savell's family and friends. I am shocked, dismayed, and saddened by the turbulent events that took Amanda's life way too swiftly and with such horrific violence. Why on earth would anyone hurt a young woman with so much promise, such a big heart, and a smile brighter than sunshine? I cannot even comprehend this tragedy, cannot wrap my brain around it. Amanda was there for me in my time of need, and while our paths traveled in different directions these past couple of years, my heart and soul will never forget the helping hand she provided to me. I wish I had the ability to turn back time, make mountains move, let bygones be bygones, and returned the favor to her in time to save her future.

May you rest in peace, Amanda.

May there be stadium stairs, rolling hills, and treadmills galore for you to run.

You're on the big stage now. Shine, girl. Shine.

And never stop smiling.

I must say this isn't my ultimate tribute. My sorrow and tears are clouding my writing. I don't know when the right words will come to me, Amanda, but one day they will, and I will have one of my poems or essays that will forever tattoo your memory not just in my mind but on paper. After all, there is something about the written word that gives life to thoughts.

We take friendships for granted, and when I say "we," I mean a very general "we." In this industry--one that is filled with hectic moments comprised of constantly cooking, constantly putting on workout clothes and rushing to the gym, constantly thinking about the next show--it is easy to lose touch with those who had meant so much. I'm so sorry, Amanda. I'm sorry I was not able to package up the words and advice you once gave to me and somehow hand them back to you when you needed them most...when they would be most appropros for you. It's so painful when I think of how badly we needed to switch roles so I could have at least attempted to save you like you saved me.

I trained shoulders today, and I thought of you. It wasn't just because I had always hoped to have shoulders like yours. It's because you and I both knew that hard work and due diligence made a true champion. You helped me to pick up my life when it felt like it had slammed to the ground, and you helped me to build strength where weakness had threatened to prevail. The shoulder workout--amongst all the thousands upon thousands of other workouts that all of us do--is just a symbol of this message. Keep lifting. Wherever you are. Stay strong. Keep lifting. Keep running. Keep building. We promise to do the same here.

Look at the image on this page, Amanda. I won a bodybuilding show. Not just any show, but a national, drug-tested event. I earned a spot at the World Championships! Little me. I had never done such a thing in my life, but I finally did it! I wouldn't have had to the courage to achieve this if I hadn't encountered you in my life at a time when I so badly needed a good friend. I still remember the first time I ever saw you; you had wild, curly hair and were in a turqoise suit on a Texas stage. Such radiance and beauty. I said to myself, "That's what a female bodybuilder should look like." You gave me courage to stick to my guns and do what I felt was right for my body and my life. When I do Nationals in November this year, it will be dedicated to you. You always believed I could do this without changing a thing about myself. You were right. Now, just look to your right. I know you are at your computer! So, take a look, Big Momma. You were so so so right.

I hate that I had to feel this loss to understand how much I miss your friendship. I hate it so much! That it takes loss to create need. What a hard, hard lesson to learn.

I miss your laugh. I miss your jokes. I miss your confidence in yourself, in me, in everything. I miss you.

Love, Jodi